Majarkeun

Maternity Leaving Self Employment

Maternity Leaving Self Employment

A few years back one of the topics I occasionally wrote about was self-employment, both specifically about mine which is in the field of sewing, and a bit more generally. A number of people that Ive taught over the last four-ish years have found the idea of making money from your passion to be an interesting one, so I felt the reality of that was a topic worth discussing on this blog whilst I outlined how I made my income. I havent written specifically about sewing-related self-employment for ages, mainly because my situation hasnt changed very much in the last two years. However, Im currently staring down the barrel of my second maternity leave, so lots of thoughts, feelings and questions have come up for me that Id like to air here.

For the last two and a half years, Ive been the primary caregiver for our daughter Dolores. She has yet to attend nursery or any other form of childcare so its a pretty full on task. Ive also been bringing in a part-time income, the majority of this has been through teaching sewing and dressmaking classes at the weekends (when her dad can take care of her). I also make a small amount from blogging, sample making, blog sponsorship and sewing pattern sales, which I work on after Dolores has gone to bed and during her naps times. Theres been times that all of these activities have left me really busy, and times when its been less so and Ive been able to do more sewing for myself and stuff. The most tiring aspect has been the travelling to and from classes, especially the ones that take place in London. On bad weekends, the journey can take up to four hours each way. When I havent had a good nights sleep, and now that Im pregnant again, it can really take it out of me for a couple of days after. So because of that, Im really looking forward to my maternity leave to avoid the travelling part (although I know that there is a whole different world of tiredness just round the corner!). But on the other hand, Im really lamenting having to step away from my working life.


As far as I can figure out from my internal enquiries, theres a couple of reasons for this. Partly its because Ive managed to get myself some really great gigs, which has mainly been through working hard at what I do to get good at it. I genuinely LOVE the four companies I currently teach at (Tilly and the Buttons, The Village Haberdashery, MIY Workshop and Fabric Godmother), and getting to help people improve their sewing skills and confidence is a really lovely way to spend time, however tiring projecting a super-positive energy whilst being on your feet all day can be. Plus, getting great feedback from my students about how much theyve enjoyed a class and how much more confident they now feel with sewing is so rewarding, and it just feels great to be good at something! There are MANY days that have been spent mumming where I just dont feel like Im doing a very good job. Im not sure how my general self-esteem will be effected when I cant intersperse those days with the odd one spent teaching someone to successfully insert an invisible zip or get their head round bias binding. (By the way, you can see what remaining classes Im scheduled to teach on my Sewing Classes page.) I spoke very frankly about motherhood and the ways in which sewing offers some relief and escape towards the end of this Seamwork magazine article, and some of what I talked about needing sewing for could also be said for my paid employment.

You may be thinking, But this is your second child, youve been through this before, right? Why are you freaking out?. I guess there are two main differences this time round. Firstly, I have a much clearer idea of how absorbing and exhausting life with a tiny baby is; I know how little time will be left over for any kind of work or creative endeavour when youre the primary caregiver. I was very naive about that when I first entered motherhood. Secondly, on top of the whole tiny baby situation, this time Ill have a lively toddler to care for and entertain as well, which will surely leave me with even less time and energy to direct towards anything else I might like to pursue. Thinking I could still achieve quite a bit, on top of keeping a little baby alive and happy, lead me to come unstuck last time and definitely contributed to me experiencing post-natal depression. Therefore, Im trying to be as realistic as possible about the stresses and strains coming my way over the next year or two.  



So I dont really know what the future holds for my self-employment after my maternity leave. I dont know exactly how different life will be with two tiny children rather than one, and I dont know exactly how Pats employment will change over the next couple of years either. His situation will have a major effect on both my availability to work and how much my financial input will be needed. But I know that I will need to do some kind of work, however infrequent, for my sanity if nothing else once the mini-dude is old enough to eat solids and breast-feeding calms down.

What I guess I need to remember is that their infancy only lasts a relatively short time, although when youre in the trenches it feels like an age! Theyll be at school in the blink of an eye, and Ill be wondering where this period went. At that point I will have more time to concentrate on creative ways to earn money. But I know Im not the only woman to have felt a bit uneasy about an approaching maternity leave, and what that will mean for your sense of self. Likewise, being somewhat lost in motherhood, no matter how much you love your kids and how carefully they were planned, is not a unique experience either. If anyone else felt a bit weird about this stage of life, itd be great to hear how you dealt with it.

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